Being there... or not

During the pandemic, many people couldn’t be with their loved ones in their final moments or attend their funerals. As Jean-Marc Barreau, a professor at the Institute of Religious Studies at Université de Montréal, phrased it: “They had to put their mourning on hold."

To understand how in-person and virtual funerals help people deal with complicated bereavement, Barreau has launched a research project with his  graduate students Josianne Barrette-Moran, Catherine Nyabita Mambiko, Susanne Emery, Anaïs Ciaran and Étienne Yuma.

Funded by the Fonds de recherche du Québec - Société et culture (FRQSC), the research is being done in collaboration with Magnus Poirier funeral homes and focuses on their “Last Moment” service, which allows bereaved families to privately view the face or other parts of the deceased one last time.

This summer, the research team is interviewing people who experienced “Last Moment” in order to get their perspective.

Virtual reality has also spread to the rites of mourning. Funerals can now be held online. In South Korea, for example, some funeral homes offer all-virtual funerals. A digital bouquet of flowers can be sent on the deceased’s birthday.

Closer to home, in Montreal, immigrants can use digital technologies, such as smartphones, to follow the funeral of a relative on another continent.

How does this affect the grieving process? Can digital media help ease the grief of the bereaved? What impact do they have on the emotions associated with mourning? Barreau’s hypothesis is that a virtual ceremony won’t have the emotional power of an in-person event.

“With digital media, it’s the quantitative dimension that speaks to the emotions: the image, the movement, the size of the room,” Barreau said. “When you are there in person, qualitative factors have more weight: the sense of touch, seeing specific details.”

What is the effect of being in the same physical place? Will it continue to be part of coping with bereavement in the future? Can mourning in person be more performative? Barreau’s research team will try to answer these questions.

“For the emotions of grief to find full expression, they need an anchor,” Barreau explained. “If it isn’t there, the emotion is cast adrift and looks for a substitute. If it can’t find one, it becomes much more difficult for the emotion to flow. For example, if the death was violent and the family can’t view the physical body of the loved one , the grieving process will be more complicated.”

Research has identified a number of factors in complicated grieving but little attention has been paid to the emotional element. “What about sadness?” asked Barreau. “What about despair? Or anger? It’s clear that these and other emotions need to be alleviated.

"Otherwise, without the bereaved realizing it, they will complicate the mourning process. Some families will ask to see the body, because it’s an emotional need. If the death was violent and the body is not presentable, thanatologists will ‘work’ a part of the body so that the family can view and perhaps even touch it. Emotions need something concrete.”

To better understand the emotions associated with bereavement, Barreau and his team are conducting a series of three semi-structured interviews with adults who have used the “Last Moment” service, spaced one month, three months and six months after the event.

The questionnaire includes questions such as: What did you see that you couldn’t have heard that comforted you? What did you touch?

The project continues this summer. If you experienced the “Last Moment” service after losing a loved one and would like to participate, please contact josianne.barrette-moran@umontreal.ca.